An uncomfortable date can leave you exhausted. Perhaps the person seemed suitable on paper, but the conversation felt completely unfamiliar. Afterwards, you may wonder: if this is what dating is like, what does it say about me?
It helps to pause before calling someone “strange”. Often, we mean that their way of being is unfamiliar to us. We all have habits and qualities that another person might find unusual. The question is whether we can connect with this particular person, rather than whether they fit an idea of what is normal.
You can make an introduction more considered before you meet. Ask someone who knows the person, such as a friend, family member, rabbi, matchmaker or coach, about the things that matter to you. A short phone call can also help. You might agree in advance to keep the first meeting to half an hour or an hour.
Even after those conversations, a date may not feel right. You can recognise that without dismissing the person in front of you. Ask yourself what you learned, and whether there were good qualities you could appreciate even though you do not want to continue.
In my work as a matchmaker and coach, I have met people who were convinced they would never find someone they could connect with, and later did. Try to leave room for a person whose particular way of being makes sense to you. You do not need to connect with everyone.
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